Hi, I know I have not written in quite some time and I am sorry.  I have been doing a lot of soul-searching, reaching into the deepest depths of my soul and just not sure HOW to carry on; carry on, I will, but just not sure if blogging about it is the right way … Continue reading #11 My Confusion →

My heart is breaking in a thousand pieces I thought I was passed this I don't really know the reasons They probably lay in the past Like a forgotten dream Life is not as it seems May those that I've hurt find forgiveness of heart I can only end if I start at the start … Continue reading #12 Why? →

It was during our time living in the duplex that my obsession with neatness and cleanliness began.  Right across the yard from us lived a wonderful latin family who had a daughter a couple of years older than me and a son, a couple of years younger.  I became friends with the daughter.  The family … Continue reading #13 I Am Left Cleaning The Mess →

So boxes packed, we got a U-Haul and also got a hitch so we could pull our older model Cadillac behind it!  I always hated that Cadillac.  It was an awful burgundy color, inside and out, the seats were made of a scratchy feeling material-I just didn't like it! We made it to Irving, Texas,  … Continue reading #14 The U-Haul & The Cadillac →

When we went back to California we had no option but to stay with my Grandmother; now, don't get me wrong, I loved my grandmother dearly but she was an extremely difficult, unusual, critical, racist woman.  I have never met anyone like her in my life! It was bad from the start; she would ask … Continue reading #15 The Grandmother Chronicles →

So I have made physical changes to my blog (cover photo, color scheme, etc) and have also changed my whole concept for my blog.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not done with telling you about my life story, but I had to decide WHY I was telling you my life story.  No, that … Continue reading #16 Blog Change, Idea Change, Am I Crazy? →

When we landed in Jacksonville on August 17, 1977, I had no idea that would be my final destination.  And things got much more severe.  My dad had always been a heavy drinker, but he was now a raging alcoholic, not coming home until he had stopped at one of the bars on base, coming … Continue reading #17 Jacksonville, Florida Forever →

Around this same time, when I was still in junior high and beginning my journey into drugs and alcohol was when the final incident happened.  My dad dropped my sister and me off at the movie theater; I can't remember what the movie was.  My parents, for all their faults and inner demons, were always … Continue reading #18 The Movie Theater & The Stranger →

At first, I don't really remember seeing my dad that much.  Was he embarrassed?  I doubt it, he was narcissistic, he thought he was always right and nothing he did was wrong. His own form of self-preservation I suppose.  But what he did was wrong-very, very wrong.  But like I said in my post, "Dad", … Continue reading #19 The Chase →

Up until now, I have written very little about my sister.  She is seven years younger than me, which that in itself has caused our relationship much strain.  Like I said in an earlier post the arrival time of my sister on the scene was about the time my parents started having problems.  When I … Continue reading #20 My Sister →